The New "Old Fashioned"

A heavy debate with a couple of girlfriends the other afternoon over lunch lies heavy. As girl talk commenced, the topic circled the dynamic between a man and a woman in current dating. If that isn't an oxymoron in itself these days, I don't know what is. At this time, with enough crazy stories from my girlfriends about their dating apps, I would rather be a hermit if it means having more sane occurrences. To be frank. 

Going into 2026, many will say I'm incorrect, but I stand firm when I say chivalry is not dead!!!!......... but is definitely in murky waters. Call me old-fashioned, but I have always felt that the man is the head of the house and the woman makes it a home.  But we are in different times now. Hence the circling at lunch. 

  This is a time when women can have good jobs, make their own money, and be their own boss. This does not mean we are to be men, though. I feel a woman can be A boss, but doesn't have to be THE boss.  A woman can be a good worker and take care of herself, but if a man is in her life, she should let him take the reins. That doesn't mean she is stupid, needs to quit her job, or doesn't have an opinion.  It means he is a foundation amongst their dynamic together. There needs to be a balance in this world to allow men to be men. A man being in the picture means the woman can be the one letting him guide them. A man leads and a woman nurtures.  As women, we are designed to support our partners, but also to reciprocate. When a man takes the lead, a woman can allow him to fulfill this role. For so long, men would be labeled as the ones who provide, but now women can provide for themselves.  A man is still very important within his role for guiding and protecting, though.

Now here is where I'm going to sound really old, but “I blame it on them damn music videos”. When I say music videos, I really mean social media. Social media has created a lot of confusion about the roles of men and women; hence,  there lies the murky water. It has even been suggested that women are to be the aggressors now, which is also,  in my opinion,  completely strange to me. There is nothing old-fashioned about a woman being desperate and chasing after a man at all. First of all, it takes him out of his role as a manly figure who needs to hunt. Period. Second, it creates a trend that if a woman doesn't chase you, she isn't interested, when it can be the absolute opposite. Therefore, it leads to girls doing the chasing because they now think they're supposed to, or they won’t get the guy.

 But the truth is, women can give a green light; we show the guy he will not be rejected, but we let him find his grounding to take the lead. And the difference between a girl and a woman is understanding that if he doesn't find that grounding, maybe he just wasn't ready for it, and it's okay. What's even more backward is the misconception and misunderstanding of the women who don’t chase because they know it's not their place to do so. A woman can be single, productive, self-loving, yet know what's meant to be will be. When she doesn't need the validation, she is labeled as cold or assumed “there are so many in the picture” already. Consequently, the assumption that  “other people in the picture already” is why she is not needy or chasing. BUT the real math is, if every admirer thinks there must be someone else in the picture already, it leads to no one even attempting to approach her. Furthermore, what you’re left with, my friend, is a very lonely girl. 

Overall, a man leads, a woman follows and supports. A man stands in whatever shoes he can wear at the moment, and the woman should reciprocate. Hope that it's a healthy place he leads them to. But I guess that's for another lunch.

  What is meant for us won't pass us. What is meant to be will be. 

Stay good.